Ramblings By Rhianna

September 14, 2008

Kathy Russell Passed This Way

Filed under: My Life, ER nurse — Administrator @ 3:38 am

Every once in a while something happens that causes you to pause a moment and see where you are, how you are and what you are. That happened this week. One of the girls at work didn’t show up on Monday, and after many worried phone calls the police were sent to her home and discovered she had died over the weekend sometime.


 It stops you in your tracks and makes you ask…” what is the purpose of it all”. What is our purpose in it all?  
That personal theory that I’ve held on to says, there is no reason in death, only purpose in life. How does it fare when it takes on the reflection of someone else’s lifetime?  I only know her from the stand point of where Kathy’s life intersected with mine. She was strong and fierce and like all of us, a pain in the ass sometimes. She was a presence to contend with, one who was felt when ever she was around.  She made me laugh and often had insightful comments to share. She wanted better things from her life and was not quite satisfied. Like every one else I know, she was frustrated with how things were and impatient for how things should be.  And in those ways she was very much like me.


 So, what is the meaning or purpose? In her role as an ER nurse she saved many lives and lessened the mark of pain or injury for thousands of individuals over the years, was one of those people someone who will change the world? Did she create someone from her body that has ensured her immortality though her daughters?  Was her presence as part of her family, job or friendships enough to make our world somewhat better? Was there something she said or did that has become the place mark of her presence on this world?


 Yes.


 Kathy Russell passed this way. She shared her talents, her sense of humor, her skills as a nurse, her love as a mother, daughter, sister and friend.  Her life may seem to be lost in the communal energy of what makes us grow as people, but it does not diminish what she contributed. I wish I had known her better, but I do know that I am a better person for knowing Kathy.  
 

Rhianna Samuels

September 3, 2008

weather it’s a tooth ache or hurricane, when it rains… it pours

Filed under: My Life — Administrator @ 1:24 am

I thought I’d just tell you a bit about my last week. I’ve been mostly whining about a tooth ache that is still hanging on. It’s an infected crown, the dentist barely took a look,  x rayed and declared it was infected. So I left shortly after with a script for an antibiotic and pain meds.


 What I discovered is that Advil/Ibuprofen in high doses is better for a tooth ache than prescription pain meds. In fact it is the only thing that helps. Still, after nearly seven days, it shouldn’t continue to keep me awake and make me feel like sticking a knife in my hand to take my mind off my face.  I see my dentist again tomorrow.
Okay, that subject is over, on to the next…;)
 

As you may have heard there was a hurricane passing through the gulf coast this weekend. My brother and his family live in a suburb of New Orleans.  He is a veterinarian and by the weekend 187 animals had been dropped off “for the HOLIDAYS.”  So he and his fellow Vets and staff stayed at the Animal Hospital for the duration again. They stayed there for Katrina.


 Now, don’t feel too sorry for them. The Hospital is not that old and was built with hurricanes in mind.  They have a generator running when the electricity goes off. (I think it was pretty terrible after Katrina though).  But he’s already been to check out the house that had to be rebuilt after Katrina and said not even a broken glass occurred to the family home and the electricity is working.  He’s a good man, he is stubborn, but he cares about many things. Like most men, he doesn’t talk about what he cares about. He just does what he knows is right.


 They learned so much from the last hurricane; how to be prepared, mostly to just get the hell out of the area. His wife went to visit family in Alabama, his son went to stay with his mom in northern Louisiana and his daughter went to Austin to hang with some friends. He’s good to animals, good to his family and a decent scrabble player.  What else can you say about the guy? I generally claim to know him when he’s around.
 

So, all in all it’s been a good week. My brother and his family are fine. I’ll get over my tooth ache, soon I hope and then the sun will shine on the gulf coast and maybe here in Indiana too.


 Rhianna

August 6, 2008

S’up!

Filed under: My Life, The writer, Rhianna the reader — Administrator @ 11:28 pm

I just got my hair done and that always seems to perk me up. For a matter of hours, my hair is fixed in the style the hair stylist wants it to be. It is a great cut, she went a half shade darker on the brown (mardi gras) and then highlighted.  

Last year about this time I decided I was starting to look my age and decided I would go from the dark blond that I had used for over a decade to something closer to my natural color. That would be predominantly gray, but also a mousy brown. It was a harder change on my coworkers than on me. I don’t look in the mirror very often and they had to see it constant.

I was given many opinions, some not so kind, but I persevered and stayed dark. This year I made up my mind that I would do more to pamper myself and having my hair color done by an expert is one of the greater luxuries in the female favorite things.  

I got my galleys in for Shaking Off the Dust. That is exciting and sort of sad. I am reading it and man I like it. *grin*

I am writing steady every chance I get. I hope you all had a great week. I am posting at the Samhain blog on Saturday am and Shades of Suspense blog on Monday morning.   I read one book last week. I need it to rest my mind. It was Patricia Biggs, newest Wolf Cry. It’s not one of the Mercedes series (which I adore), but a spin off to that world. I liked the characters, but it wasn’t as engaging as the Mercedes books. She is a good writer though. 

  Rhianna 

July 28, 2008

Ten Things I’ve thought about in the last week

Filed under: My Life — Administrator @ 2:01 am

While we are awake,  ideas and thoughts come every few seconds, or in my case, every few minutes. (I’m either slow or lazy, I’m going with the last option.)   I thought it would be fun to each share some of those thoughts.

1.       I was watching the History Channel last night about the history of tattooing. One of the segments was a tour of a Japanese medical school where they had the skin of a Yakasu, the tattoos covered his entire body. They peeled off his skin.

~I thought,

Yuck, they peeled his skin off like a chicken!

What a beautiful tattoo. It flowed from one design to another.

My niece will love this and it just might change her mind about becoming a tattoo artist one day.

2.       I watched Stargate Atlantis on Friday and thought.

Damn, that Ronin is smoking hot.

3.       I reread Georgette Heyer - Faro’s Daughter

~I need to read this again just before I start back on my historical

  OMG, this is so funny

  I wish she was still writing

4.         I wrote on my novella

~This isn’t strong enough, I need to rewrite this scene.

  I love Channon’s character ~ Sigh

  There really isn’t a HEA, but there is a resolution and three storylines that will continue. I have introduced an unfulfilled simmering romance that will continue in the series.  Do I have too many characters whose first name begins with an A.  I don’t want to change any of them, don’t make me.

5.        ~ I wonder what my balance is on my this credit card?

6.       ~That doughnut was so not worth it.

7.       I went to the new HBO site for True Blood the series based on Charlaine Harris’s Sookie Stackhouse vampire series.

~ I want to blow a poster size of that ad in the comic book.

~the Tru Blood commercial is a treat and I love the ending…suck it up.

I hope it is a good series and does the books justice.

8.       I was paging through the Sunday ads and thought.

~ these are the ugliest styles of clothing I’ve seen since 1970.

9.       ~Do I really need to launder my uniforms. Yes.

10.    ~What good are school equipment sales if they don’t have a decent note book that I like to write on. I hate the current cloths.

You noticed there were no earth shattering, conscious changing thoughts during the week. And Sadly those were the high points.  It’s your turn to give your top ten thoughts for the last week.

Rhianna

July 20, 2008

Filed under: My Life — Administrator @ 3:42 am

I am hoping the you tube video embeds correctly.

 In the fours hour period after I had my niece take these picutures, I already made changes. I’ll do an update when the second room is done. The window are getting wood shutters tomorrow. And I found a great male female statue for the love and marriage area. Don’t blink, cause it’s always changing.

The up side is that I came up with an idea for another book. It was such a great idea, that my niece was writing down the idea while I was driving. I love that when it happens.

This weekend is for the movies again. I’m planning to see Hell Boy II.  I know the Dark Night, but I want to laugh, so I chose the fun one.

As for the Novella, I’m on a exciting part and I’m having a good time writing. It’s trying hard to be a novel, but i’m fighting it down. :)

Rhianna

           

 

July 14, 2008

I’m posting two blogs- why not

Filed under: My Life, Rhianna the reader — Administrator @ 2:31 am

I read a book this last week. Yes, I should have been writing, but as it happened the electricity was off for hours of daylight and it gave me the opportunity to finish a book I’d started the week before. Normally, if I love a book I will read it in one sitting, but I am at an age and state of insanity, that everyone thinks that my extra time should be spent on their particular projects. So reading has taken a back seat to work, family and writing. (You noticed that writing and work were separate things.)

The author is one I have read quite a bit. She writes paranormal and her first few books were with a small press, then she went to one of the New York houses. I always liked her books because she had a great mythology and there was some substance to her plotlines. Not in this book.

The story was focused on the romance from chapter two on and I think what turned me off was that her male voice sounded more like a love struck female than a tough as nails shifter. He wanted her from the instant he saw her. He was a hard on walking from the first kiss and his inner voice did not come across as a strong male, where as her heroine was quite funny and southern sassy. 

Everyone brings their own perspective to what they read and the things that make a story good. I will admit, that I have no problem with a hero’s voice expressing his desire for a woman, but I like there to be some interactions between the characters before this begins. I like plot and subplot beyond the two character romance. The reader goes in knowing that hero and heroine will consummate their longing for each other.  And don’t get me wrong, I like a man who is determined he’s going to get the girl. I just don’t want him sounding like a girl when he does it, then have every secondary character supposedly afraid of him, because he’s all macho.

Of course, I’ve always said my favorite males are the laconic types, who don’t say much, but show you what they are all male. Oh, but I love an alpha male with a mouth too. I look for authenticity in the characters. What about you, have you stopped reading a book or author because the male just didn’t seem authentic?

Who are some of your favorite male characters and what made them stick out in your mind?

 

Rhianna Samuels

 

 What I did last week

 

I had along holiday weekend. My first thought was to write and spend some time with my family. My  MY SPACE web mistress, who also happens to be my fifteen year old niece came to hang with me and my artist sister decided this would be the perfect weekend for her to paint two rooms in exactly the colors I wanted. Sounds all good, right?

Because, I’m a lazy slug at heart, the logistics of all this escaped me.

 I drove down to Kentucky and picked up my niece. Don’t be too impressed, the Kentucky border is only ten miles from here and my sister lives only 45 minutes away. Still, I drove there to pick out the colors I wanted and pick up my fun girl. I went with two colors to start out with – sage and haystack-  in a low fumes paint.

I wrote on my novella, and we watched as many gory movies as possible. The gore was to the point I was over saturated and forced her to comedy so that I wouldn’t have night mares. On Friday, I thought I’d help by stripping wall paper border off in my room. I used a cool clothes steamer from sharper image which was collecting dust in the shed. It worked, but only to a point.  It got so hot that it not only took off the wallpaper, it also took of the plaster wall behind it, which eventually became a caulking nightmare. So with only one wall stripped and my sisters cheery, “finish taking down the border”, I made a run to Lowes to see what they had for the job.

I found a spray bottle, orange in color that guaranteed safe removal. You simply spray until saturated, let sit for 2-10 minutes and remove. Repeat as necessary.  It worked amazingly well. What they fail to mention is that it smells like mildew and stay up your nose for days. Though I managed to get the smell out of the room with a fan, it stayed in my nose hairs for a longer period. 

Did I mention, I fell off the ladder twice (I kept missing the last step off), I managed to jab the metal spatula device into the palm of my hand actually draw blood with that mildewing crap on it and I was channeling the wicked witch of the west by the time I finished. (No comments about my warted nose.)

Having coaxed my cohort in movies to move some furniture out of the room and clearing some wall space, I was ready for my sisters arrival the next day to do the actual painting. Don’t give me that look, she has her first degree in painting. Seriously!  My niece, her daughter, was then informed-after the furniture moving-that she’d have to sleep on the couch, since my room was now mildew stinky and I was taking the guest room.  She seemed at peace with that, especially after I handed her the digital remote to the 65 inch tv in the family room.

My sister arrived early.  My room looked fabulous, one wall in pale sage green, one in a pale yellow and the other two in Twine, it’s a white with a hint of gray in it. I was pleased and ready to stop. I realized how much trouble and mess it encompassed and did not want to do the other room until I’d had a chance to decide where I was putting everything. But other people made a unilateral decision and from that point on I was channeling a hell hound.

By the time my sister left, I had to apologize for the bitch that took over my mouth and complained about every thing. But, please tell me you would unplug the computer and printers before her moved them around. The key board and printers were hanging by a thread and thrown on the bed. (Don’t get me started again.)

I closed the door the to that room and did not reenter it until this weekend. You can see where my time got spent.

Don’t fret, I did write ten pages of nothing but sex scenes during my frustration.  I have to admit the front end of the novella is a lot of sex. The action comes in the back end of the book. Was that a double entendre?  You’ll have to read it someday to find out. *grin*

 
 Rhianna – Bitch from hell ~ (AKA -The Hell Hound)

 

 

 

 

June 23, 2008

My Week

Filed under: My Life — Administrator @ 12:59 am

Hello!
It’s been an interesting week for me. The day job has been a challenge, though a lot of fun. I mentioned before that I have about a dozen new nurses that are new to nursing and most definitely to my department.  Seeing everything about the job from their perspective is always good. It’s a little like seeing the world from a child’s eyes, it’s exciting and something wondrous. It teaches me how to present information in a better way, but it also helps me gage how much further they must come to be able to do the job. We are all looking forward to when they are ready to be on their own and take over the place.

 
Last Sunday my youngest nephew flew in for a visit this week from Florida. Then Wednesday another nephew and his girlfriend drove up from New Orleans. Along with my nieces, who live in Indiana, it has been a regular family reunion. I went straight from work to visit with them and then was able to leave on Friday a bit early. I know, if you are at all like me, I’m one of those “get to the point” people. It’s a wonder I can read a book, though most of us can raise our hand if someone were to ask “Do you jump over too much description in a book, to get to the action parts.”

 
Back to the action. Over the weekend, it’s been fun and crazy. We saw The Happening” , I won’t bother to tell you the storyline, but the movie was just very lightweight. I thought it would be more than it was. I liked the theme, and there were some good actors in this movie, but they were not alpha characters. I know Mark Walberg has the ability to be a strong presence in a movie and play alpha, but in this one, he plays a very mild man. I found it hard to relate to him, despite the obviousness of his playing the everyman role. Some movies or books, simply require a strong hero and I felt this one did.

 
On Friday night the electricity went out for about four hours. We could have stayed at my sisters place, but mom decided she had to stay in the house without electricity, so me and my youngest nephew and niece headed there and hung out. We played scrabble my candle light, it was actually a hilarious game. My nephew managed a seventy-five point turn on the triple word and cleaned the floor with us. Last night, Saturday, I was on my game and won both times we played, despite only 64 points for a seven letter word. We love our scrabble. I’m a good loser and a sassy winner.

 
When my youngest nephew came in on Sunday, he went through a stack of dvd’s he had not seen, so Sunday, Monday and Wednesday night, we all watched the Blade series. Its graphic violence was enough to thrill them and the third one had enough humor for me. We are all vampire and paranormal fans. Who isn’t?

 
The New Orleans crew left this morning and my other nephew flies out tomorrow to head back to Florida. I enjoy them so much, that it is very sad to see them go and know it will be a long tme before I see them ago. I have to tell you that I think my family is a very cool group of individuals. Razor sharp wit and just fun people to hang with. This afternoon Evan popped in another DVD that he has never seen, while I snoozed on the couch. I love it when I can say, “Oh, that’s a classic film, you have to see it.” There are so many movies like that, especially for the young. He’s a comedy buff, so I have now seen most of the episodes of the Chapelle series. Edgy funny. Love it too.
I did some shopping and my friend’s daughter just got back from five weeks in China and brought me back a fan. Its yellow beige colors are working in my feng shui knowledge area. I wish I could read Chinese, because one side has a lovely picture and the other is covered in writing. It may be telling me to buy fruit at jinn lee’s fruit stand, but the writing is lovely, so I’m happy with my own interpretation.
That’s my week! Tell me about yours.

 

As you noticed, I finally got some pictures up from the Lori Foster Conference. Most of them are people who were at my table or from my RWA Chapter. I didn’t take a lot of pictures, because I am so bad at remembering names, unless I’ve actually had a decent conversation with the person. My table did have some fascinating folks there. Jennifer DeCamillio, Susan Carr, Michelle Boungafiglio, Ann Christopher and there was a couple of funny and interesting readers, who also happened to be nurses.  The second day it was the same group, but we also had the Three Musketeers (Anya Bast, Lauren Dane and Megan Hart) Also Beth Williamson hung out. I enjoyed everyone I met. Gia Dawn and Bianca D’ark are my new role models, both are just great to be around and open to questions and good conversation.

 

Let me know if You are going next year and we’ll hang out.

 
Rhianna

 

PS  I’m still waiting for my neice to load up the pictures of Jodi Wallace and her sister and Angela James chatting with Kim Grooms. They are part of my RWA group and just neat folks. We all ate dinner at a yummy Italiam restaraunt.

June 13, 2008

The found Weekend: Lori Foster’s Readers and Writers Conference 2008

Filed under: My Life, The writer — Administrator @ 12:30 am

I know, it’s a weird title, but I flashed on the old film the lost weekend, and this definitely was not that.  Let me preface, by saying, I had a really good time last weekend. And so my story begins:

 
 For weeks it was a question whether I was going to be able to go at all. Family issues and general stress wreaked havoc for a time, but I weathered the few weeks that it took to deal with those concerns. (A special thanks to MB, My sister and Mary, who talked me into seeing all the positive.) By the weekend before I was looking forward to meeting the nearly three hundred that attended the weekend.

 
 The only problem with the drive was the amount of money the gasoline cost. There was some bumper traffic in Cincinnati the last thirty miles. When I reached the hotel I was surprised to find out that the place was over run by teenage baseball players there for a play off. With so many groups and luggage the four luggage carts were no where to be found, so I made four trips in the ninety odd degrees carrying in luggage, baskets and promo material.
 I will admit, since I have multiple witnesses anyway, that I will wear a headband, just like Tammy Fay and pull out a fan to cool down. I blame it on my father. I inherited his sweat glands. Oh, excuse me, his perspiration apparatus. (I sweat, I only wish it were a glow.) I was looking forward to sitting back in my hotel room and cooling down with an ice cold drink before running out for a late lunch. I snatched up the ice bucket and headed to the ice machine. EMPTY. The baseball families had filled their buckets and ice chests. I went to my room steaming. I was hot and sweating, but steaming sounds so much more intense. I finally went to another floor in my search. In conclusion of my chilling drama, I found ice on the third floor. A diet coke never tasted so sweet and cold.

 
 After lunch I was a much better person and by the time I made it to the lobby again there was a line around the main lobby forming to register and pick up our name badges. I got in line and within two minutes was befriended by Gia Dawn, one of the nicest people I have ever met. She is funny and smart and writes a great story. We chatted and she shared her hand fan, though we both felt that gorgeous males should have been fanning us with large palms. (I will say that by the next morning the hotel was talked into turning up the air conditioners. Three hundred people in a room is a mighty furnace.)  Can you tell I’m menopausal?

 
 For the dinner portion, The one table where I knew the majority of people only had one chair open and though I was invited to join them, I decided that I’d spread the joy and head to a table with only one or two people. They had it set up to where four authors were asked to be at each table. I sat down with a couple of nurses – It’s like radar, we can find each other any where. We did some chatting and then another author joined us, sci fi and paranormal romance writer, very sweet lady – Hi Laura. Right after that Susan Carr was with us.

 
 The cool happened just moments after they opened the buffet, Michele Boungufiglio sat down to my left and next to her was Ann Christopher. I figured there were about 250 other authors that wished they were sitting with the lifetime TV book reviewer and I wasn’t budging. She is a petite thing and had this fabulous purple purse that was as big as she was.  Nearly everyone in the place came over to say hello to her, so that was fun to watch her be gracious and fun.

 
 As new writer, there were only a few that had ever heard of my book or me. I meet folks from an Indianapolis book club that I’m looking forward to seeing when the book is out in print. My Nashville Chapter of the RWA was represented and we hung out quite a bit.

 
 Late on Friday I joined Gia for a drink at the bar and met several Samhain Authors and the amazing Chrissy Brashear. Bianca D’arc was among those there and I found out when I got home Sunday night that Friday was her birthday. I even managed to offend her when I made an inappropriate comment about New York men being rude – I meant that men in any group mentality can be rowdy – I think I managed to get my foot out of my mouth by the end. J  Like so many of the people I met, she is a lovely, brilliant woman.

 
 Saturday morning there was a continental breakfast and after I headed over to hear the two agents speak with my Nashville crew. (Yea, we wear gang colors when we hang.) They had some interesting information to share. The market for super sexy is there, the erotic market – kinky – is not. Romance is the way.

 
 All of the Writers and Readers were winning baskets from the raffle and we raised over four thousand dollars for charity.
To my Nashville Homies, including two Samhain authors Jody Wallace and Marie-Nicole Ryan, thanks for letting me hang with you. Gia, Bianca and all the authors at my table it was a great honor to meet you and share a meal and conversation. I will be looking forward to next year.

 
 Oh, and the added plus was my trip to the AKEA store. They have very fun stuff. I managed to get back home before my car battery died in front of the Borders.  I say, if you gotta wait for a tow truck, it might as well be while you’re having a smoothie and reading.

 
 Do I recommend this conference? You bet ya!

 
Rhianna Samuels

June 2, 2008

Looking for a good movie

Filed under: My Life — Administrator @ 2:38 am

 

I’m watching the MTV awards. I have watched it every year for a long time. The bits up front are always so funny. I vividly remember the Lord of the Rings bit with Jack Black and Michele Geller several years ago. It has good years and bad years, but it is consistently funny.
 
Each year I am stunned over the number of movies that they present and I haven’t seen them. Last year, I just couldn’t get interested in going to the theatre. I kept telling myself that I would see it when it came to PPV or cable. I have watched most of them. It’s my niece that misses out, because since she was three years old, I have been her main movie going adult and I let her see movies way inappropriate. That Is what the cool aunts do, they treat you like you are their equal. And you are equal.

 

This year, there are several movies I do want to see. I’m not always an Adam Sandler fan, but Zohan looks very funny. Iron Man is on my list, the Black Night, Hancock (I am a huge Will Smith fan) Indiana Jones. Heck I’d best get started, cause I’m already running late getting to the movies.
 

I enjoy foreign films also. One of my favorites is 3 Iron from Korea. Very little dialogue is in that movie, but it is just amazing. I’m an Andy Lau fan and have seen many of his early films and follow him, though it’s hard to find a good selection here in the states. Every once in a while cable will have some. They usually bring the best foreign films that are up for the academy awards. I’ve seen some incredible Spanish, Asian and French movies that way.
 

Ultimately I am lazy, so I will go for what is easy, though I will buy a movie off Amazon, should I hear enough good things about it, mostly I start looking out for what I want and it sort of becomes available one way or another. Even my niece will watch a subtitle; in fact she has become more and more enamored of them.  My laid back attitude is in direct proportion to the amount of time I spend at the theatre. minimal.
 

I miss the big city, where everything is right around a corner. I miss Trader Joe’s and the world market. I miss every kind of specialty shop you ever thought of checking out. That is the only flaw that comes with a smaller city, you lack the diversity. I miss the wide selection of films and the cheap seats.

 

So tell me about a great new film you’ve seen and recommend. And if it’s foreign, tell me how to find it. Oh, and Canada is foreign around here! One of my favorite movies is Smoke Signals and that is Canadian. Of course, they also gave us Ginger Snaps and the first of the series rocks big time.
 

I’m heading out next weekend to the Lori Foster Weekend, so there will not be a blog until I get back. Have a great week!
 

Rhianna

April 21, 2008

Making Changes

Filed under: My Life — Administrator @ 3:02 am

On Thursday and Friday of last week, I moved into a new office. Not spanking brand new, but new to being my office. For the last two years or so, I’ve been sharing an office with a great woman, who has taught me a lot about niceness. I try to tell myself that I didn’t need the lessons, but I suspect it didn’t hurt me to learn.  About 18 months ago, I outgrew the small desk and minimal space for my job and when the office next door came open, well I went to my boss and asked for it. They had to consider it for three months before they decided.

I don’t know how long I’ll keep that office before someone comes along that is bigger than I am on the work food chain. I am about guppie sized, but I have been working the same department for a lot of years and they do give me a fair amount of respect for what I do.

Your question in all this is: Yea, so what?

It’s all about change and how we go with it, or try to fight it. I asked for this change and for me it is positive. I now have a large desk, more file space and the ability to fix it how I want…to some extent. I know longer feel like I am the messy one, falling out of her desk in the corner, which is how I felt much of the time.

My office mate for the last two years was gone all last week. She became someone new…a grandmother. It has been a time of great new beginnings for her. A part of me wanted to get the move done while she was gone, just do it and be done. (This is going to date me…) The vibe has been different for a while. Moving to another office wasn’t the beginning of the change, it has been a result of change that gave me this feeling of restless movement. It began as personnel changed and I realized I needed space.

Over the years I’ve always tried to go with the flow of change. It is part of my adventurous nature. In my twenties I traveled the country and changed jobs a lot. I was looking for something intangible with the certain knowledge that I would know what it was when I found it. I didn’t find it, what ever it was. I was chasing change. To catch up I metaphorically bought a boat. I learned most cities are what you make them and stopped moving about so much.

As I got older I let myself be swept up and away in whatever life had to show me. I neither embraced change nor fought it. Instead I sat upon my boat and chose not to bring sails or place a motor or paddles upon it, and often weathered waters that were unsafe. At some point along the way I didn’t like being lost and found my way well enough to buy a motor, paddles and sails. I tried using them each, depending on my whim.

I still listen to breeze, feel the water with my hands and feet and when the wind is out of my sails, I use the motor much more often then paddles. I often wonder where I’m going, but damn the scenery is fine and I haven’t gotten sea sick in years. I don’t have a clear vision of my future, glimpses of sitting on patios and watching the sky at sunset or as the dawn breaks.  I wish I were physic and was certain where I am going. I don’t want to quietly fade away, lost at sea. At some point I hope to embrace a time and settle there. Maybe it is that patio that I can only glimpse.

Change is inevitable. Do you hate it or love it or just go with it?

 

 

Rhianna Samuels

April 2, 2008

April Fools and all the Foolish Things We Do

Filed under: My Life — Administrator @ 1:46 am

 

 

Were I to make a list of all the foolish things I’ve ever done, it would be impressive and that does not include the great majority which are forgotten. My foolishness began with my first breath and I suspect will only end upon the last gasp as I leave this world. 

 

 

In youth, we are taught right from wrong and safe from hazardous, but are genetically programmed to tempt fate in reckless attempts to prove we are smarter, faster or more stubborn than those around us. We thrill to the idea of cheating death. I, for one, have the scars of my adolescence upon my body, heart and conscious. What a fool I was, with no concept of mortality, not yet aware of how precious live was. 

 

I offer advice to my youngest family members as they weave through the emotional mind fields of two faced friends and unrequited love, searching for the words to lessen their confusion and pain. But mostly, I remember how I was thrown onto those rocky shores in a time gone, with no wish to ever relive that portion of my life. Which is more foolish in youth, that we offer out hearts to the boys who haven’t a care for how they handle them: or to survive bruised and sometimes broken and then hide our love away, afraid of reliving that pain. 

 

As each decade come we are offered new and unique ways to make fools of ourselves. There are the times we squander our time on silly games, instead of learning a lesson that you will need to survive intact in the far off future. There are the times we should have played with our friends and neighbors to establish the bonds that link us for a lifetime. 

 

Love and fools are inexplicably tied together. It doesn’t matter your age, gender or race; our hearts make decisions independently of the brain. As a consequence we are always made to look the fool. Did we learn nothing in our youth? 

 

The pragmatic will submit that any dream that is not substantiated with the sure knowledge of success is foolish. I need to believe that your dreams can come true, much like Pinocchio. My dream to become a published author came true because I put in the time and wrote a novel that was considered good enough to be published. That was not foolish, that was work. It was only part of the dream though, I want to be a writer able to live comfortable off the proceeds of my novels and devote myself to writing full time. What makes this a foolish dream is that I have tied my heart and ego into the mix and it requires luck and good fortune as much as the work I put forth. 

 

I believe that in old age we should be allowed to be foolish, to act out and do things that are bad for us. I will have paid all my dues to the next generation and the one that just past. I worked to make the world a better place. I want everyone to say, “what a foolish old woman, with her fan collection and Lord of the Rings chess sets. She’s so odd, but damn, she can make me laugh.” 

 

Tell me about foolish you. 

 

Rhianna 

March 9, 2008

Ramblings on weather

Filed under: My Life — Administrator @ 1:31 am

The weather has been playing catch me if you can. One week it’s ice, then it turns pretty just long enough to tease your senses, followed by the snow. Didn’t Roland Emerick do a movie on this, Day After Tomorrow? 

 

Nature has been playing tag since man started hunting for food. I’m not declaring that global warming hasn’t had an impact on our world, but long before industrialization it was snowing, monsoons were hitting and sand storms ravaged. It’s the reason the concept of only strongest survive became so popular. Think dust bowls and the time before electric air conditioners and heaters. We build houses that encroach along unsettled ocean and are outraged when the ocean invades what we decided to claim for ourselves. 

 

And I’ll admit I’m one of those people that keep thinking it would be great to live on the ocean or in the mountains. Instead, I live in tornado alley. I have a job where when it snows 24 inches, like it did four years ago, they send someone to my home to pick me up and bring me into work. Only, they don’t guarantee a ride home, only lodging at the hospital. Everyone else can be ticketed for being out, but as nurses and doctors we are told it is our duty. I was picked up by a rackety jeep and a fearless driver and we swung by to pick up a physician. I had to laugh and wondered seriously what qualified the driver to take my life in his hands on the steering wheel. 

 

At heart, I am a candy ass. My preference is to look at the snow from the inside of a warm house. When the rain is lashing out, I like to hear it on the roof and watch the trees sway. In the midst of it all, I will drink hot chocolate or tea, curl up and read a good book. I may take my handy pad of paper and pen to write. As I’ve gotten older, I feel less inclined to brave the weather. On the survivor scale, I’m avoiding the Eskimos, cause I don’t want to be put on an ice float. If you see me floating by, throw some marshmallows my way for my hot chocolate. 

 

I promised rambling, didn’t I. 

And on the theme of wacky weather, tell me your thoughts on the subject and your favorite weather or disaster movie. 

 

Rhianna 

— Next Page »

Powered by WordPress