rhiannasamuels.com Blog

January 21, 2008

that authors ego whispering…” If you write it they will read it. They will love it. Millions will want to read it. You can quit your day job…”

Filed under: The writer — Administrator @ 1:06 am

Last week I was down with a sinus infection. After the doctor’s visit and a couple of weeks where I exhibited non patience, I scolded myself and set out to get some order back in my life. The talking to was made up of the metaphorical ‘kick in the butt,’ that we all require when we are languishing from the “now what syndrome?”

What now? SOTD is out and a few good souls have read it and sent me lovely fan mail or encouragement, but the world was not taken by storm.  Steven Spielberg has yet to call for the movie rights or even lifetime TV.

 The climax was on a level of teenage foreplay, rather than the big O. The big publicity machine is now sitting in front of my laptop wishing I could afford to blitz every romance magazine and online site with my wondrous achievement.  Okay, so it’s not like the cure for…anything!  Except maybe a few hours of boredom, but SOTD is the biggest thing in my ordinary life. *chagrin…grin*

I managed to find a philosophical perspective and roll up my sleeves for a bit to get the last hundred pages on the sequel through (my) revisions.  Hoping to woo my editor with this story, I am trying to tell an action suspense tale that has the reader in more than a few heads. Please, don’t say it. Damn, you just had to bring up head hopping. So, I’m chopping some heads along the way, but finding it difficult to shut out those sometimes amusing POV’s.  Soon, very soon I will finish and the others stories are vying for attention.

Why, you might ask, are you bringing all this to our attention?  Well, I was being so good about pretending I didn’t care that SOTD had already seemed to have quietly disappeared from reader awareness and then my Google alert leads me to an amazing review for the book.  (I already did the standing up and cheering.)  Then I read the last paragraph of the review so many times that it is now burned into my retina.

And now it’s there again, that authors ego whispering…”If you write it they will read it. They will love it. Millions will want to read it. You can quit your day job…”

(Okay, you may already know this song. The words are the same, but my drummer is playing slow jazz on it’s ass.)  I spent the weekend dreaming again, instead of writing. Shame on me!

 

Here is the link to review and I must quote the last paragraph, because I like seeing the words so much.

Rating: 5 Nymphs
Your Literary Nymph: Midnight Minx  Recommended Read Award
 ”This is one of the best books I’ve read in awhile. All I can think of when I describe this book is it’s so much more. More humorous, more sexy, more emotional gripping, more action packed, I can’t recommend it enough. The author was so good I felt like the story was real; I had to keep reminding myself that this was not a true story but fiction.”
http://literarynymphsreviewsonly.blogspot.com/2008/01/shaking-off-dust.html

 

Rhianna Samuels

January 7, 2008

Reader Feed Back and WIPping out some words

Filed under: The writer — Administrator @ 3:36 am

I hope everyone is having as good a week as I am. As you all know my book Shaking Off the Dust was released on the first and I have had the great pleasure of hearing from a few readers already. I can’t even begin to tell you how thrilling it is when a reader takes the time out of their busy lives to contact a writer and tell them they enjoyed their work. Thank you so much for that gift.

 

I don’t have a enough witty and wonderful things to tell you about in my life right now to fill a newsletter, so I will say that I am back to working on a couple of projects that I hope will turn into amazing stories. 

 

I had a bit of ennui flu during the month of December. It was combination of holiday overload, my day job stress and an odd anticipation of SOTD releasing. Time that I would normally dedicate to writing, I spent instead going online to chat groups and review spots throwing in the towel as a commenter and de-lurker hoping to garner some name recognition when the ebook released this week. It was a different experience. I am usually one of those dry wit people, who like to throw in a droll comment here and there. I will say almost anything if I consider it funny. Often as not, I must then remove my foot from my mouth. My family can attest to that.

 

I am working on revisions to the sequel to SOTD, before I ask my editor to take a good hard look at it and decide if it’s good enough for Samhain. I had every intention of having it done long before now.  I’m discovering that a portion of what I learned in the edits from my first book is giving me a different perspective.

 

WIPs:

 

I have a historical that I keep coming back to called The Marquess of Warfleighs ‘ Late Wife( the working title).  It takes place shortly after Waterloo and the heroine’s back story is interesting.  She is the daughter of a military surgeon in 1809 during the peninsular war, who manages to follow him on the march by dressing as a young man. The second son of a Duke discovers the masquerade and when he inopportunes her is forced to marriage by her father.  At the Battle of Corunna she is attacked by one of their own officers and savagely beaten in retribution for her husbands search for a traitor.  Our hero hears the news of the attack once he is aboard the evacuation ship and well on the way to sea. His friend dares not tell him that she was not only beaten but sexually assaulted as well. Assured her father has stayed behind to care for his wife, many weeks later, he receives word from her father that she died.  Our story begins six years later and a couple of months after Waterloo.

Returning to England after years abroad, our heroine searched the aftermath of the Waterloo battlefields to find her father dead and a young soldier terribly injured.  The military surgeons sends him away to die and she takes him to her home, so he will not die alone. She, her servant,  and children nurse him from deaths door for months. Taking him to London, she hopes to return him to the bosom of his family. Posing as a widow and wearing a veil to hide the scars of her attack, her children and strangers believe she was attacked by a wild dog. The twins she bore after her attack bear no resemblance to her husband and she wants only to settle in a home and take the modest sums she has inherited and find some measure of peace with her children and servant.

Hugo Wysheth, Marques of Warfleigh has searched for years for the man who murdered his wife. Angry with himself and the world, he didn’t realize how much he’d loved her until she was gone.  Months of bitter cold, empty bellies and the impossible march they’d taken in the Peninsular War had only been bearable with her beside him and beneath him each night. Her murder at the hands of a traitor and the senseless death of his older brother in a curricle race has made him a bitter man. Only his two long time friends Albert, (Bertie) Earl of New Ripple and the Viscount, Ashley Chillington, remember the man he was with his wife. They fought together and have remained fast friends.

A teaser for you on that one.

                                                                                        *

 

I started a novella to submit for an anthology they are putting together at Samhain. It’s called Actor for the Ages. It’s about a thousand year old vampire actor, who is in the Indianapolis production of a new play and the female director is an Empath. She’s just not feeling it from him.  He owns a piano bar and has spent his life performing, finding some peace in music and literature.  His emotions have been locked away for hundreds of years and she determined to bring emotional substance to the part. I intended for this to be a straight comedy, but it’s turned into more of a dramedy and when the December Ennui flu hit me, this one got set aside with the rest. It may be more than a novella when it’s done.

                                                                                           *

I have an urban fantasy series that I have been working on for a couple of years. I finished a couple of peices, but then the world suddenly expanded and sent out orbiting planets. In the process I decided that I wanted a different story to introduce this series. It’s in the works. I’ll tell you more about this series soon.

Well, that’s a long one to keep you tied over for a bit. In between my day job, I’ll be nose to the pen and paper and lap top. 

December 17, 2007

Ramblings from Rhianna

Filed under: The writer — Administrator @ 12:01 am

With only three weeks before my first book appears in e-publication form, I’m almost glad that Christmas and the holidays are able to distract me. I am excited at the idea of Shaking Off the Dust  being out there for public consumption but after the work of edits, and believe me that was eye opening, I ended up spending the last several weeks in a sort of writers limbo.
 
I have several works in progress that I hoped to finish or make an impact on, but I found myself writing a paragraph here and there. I promised myself that for the completed manuscript and sequel to SOTD, I would use everything I learned in edits and apply. And I would start to make appearances in the chat rooms to help promote my name and book. Oh yea, and then there’s the whole preparing for the holidays and my day job. Pesky thing, they want my full attention when I’m there.
 
I failed miserably at all those things, except my day job. My office mate doesn’t allow me to slack off…much.  Thank God for her.
Now if I only had a writer mate, who would also demand deadlines and talk me down when I’m circling the computer like a coyote.  It took me until this last week to pull out that manuscript and begin the new edits. I had some POV issues I needed to work out in my head before I started. You see this sequel is more of an action/thriller and less so a romance. Yes, there is a love story that continues and two new ones that begin, but it brings together all those sexy men from the first book .  As each character is pulled back into this story, they have a unique POV.
 
As for the WIPs (works in progress), there are three and each one is very unique. One is a Novella and started out as a comedy and is turning into something more intense. I love humor in books, but I find it hard to keep the threads of real life out. In real life we try to laugh when it gets hard. Humor is there even in the saddest places. But, I wanted something light hearted, so I am letting it sit for a bit, until I decide if it’s straight romantic comedy or not.
 
The historical is kicking my fanny. I have a fair bit done, but I am using some historical events as background to the plot and I wonder if I should just change it into a parlor, party and seduction, like so many current historical. I don’t mean that as an insult, not really, but it’s easier not to worry about historical accuracies when you keep a smaller landscape. 
 
As for Christmas, I will put down the pen and computer at the end of next week to welcome family and the holiday spirit into my heart. It’s been such a remarkable year for me. (This is the part where you assume I’m going to remark on the past year. Sometimes you are too smart for your britches.) I learned about changes, life and a little about writing. I would advise anyone to follow their heart, but you must know your heart a little too.
 
What did you learn in 2007?  What advice would you offer to anyone based on what this past year has taught you?
 
Rhianna Samuels
Rhiannasamuels.com
Begin the New Year by
“Shaking Off the Dust”

December 12, 2007

The Holidays are upon us

Filed under: My Life, The writer — Administrator @ 1:05 am

Christmas. But I also believe the amount to which you enjoy the holidays is in direct proportion to the cover art Shaking Off the Dustamount in your bank account. When I am poor, which is more often then not lately, the idea of the holidays no longer has the effect of excitement.
I love being the cool aunt. It’s a great concept, but the cool aunt is the one showing everyone a good time and giving cool gifts. This year the coolness factor will be built on my ability to converse on interesting subject matter. Most of my nieces and nephews are now old enough to understand the concept of working for a living. That’s a big plus.
Should I consider myself selfish because this last year and this next year I am spending a lot of money going to conventions such as RT/Booklovers convention?  I will meet the reading public, Booksellers and other writers. It is a networking experience that can be invaluable to my writing career. I tell myself it’s well worth it. The people I meet are fascinating and readers give me input as to what they like and dislike.
But the cost becomes cumbersome. And what I spend on these networking trips often comes out of the Christmas club account. What do you think?  Is the Cool Aunt a more important moniker than well know Author?  I have to admit, I have a blast at my conventions and I love meeting the diversity of people who are there. A part of me has to admit it is a pleasure to go to conventions and I don’t always feel like it’s just for networking.
Rhianna Samuels

November 30, 2007

The dead guy

Filed under: The writer — Administrator @ 12:07 pm

As “Shaking Off the Dust”  began to percolate in my brain the first character to come along and help shape the story was Tom Mecurio. The idea sprung from a discussion at work on physicians and what particular type of doctors tend to be the most arrogant. There are several individual doctors that I have met in the last couple of decades of nursing who fit the bill, but I have to admit that overall the Neurosurgeons won the honor of most egotistical. Don’t get me wrong, there are some wonderful neurosurgeons I have known, who were the sweetest and nicest of human beings.

 
 What makes an arrogant ghost an interesting character? First of all, he has a complicated background and although he is a skilled surgeon, he is inadequate in most social situations. Wildly inappropriate at times, he wants to believe he doesn’t care what anyone thinks about him, especially this smart mouthed nurse, Hannah, who is his only link to life.  The fact that the one person, who can see and hear him, doesn’t have an especially high opinion of him doesn’t sit well. He is at turns, frustrated and charmed by Hannah’s ways. Their relationship begins with a fair amount of sniping, but soon grows on many levels. He discovers that the after life requires him to build many new relationships.

 
His best friend, Takeshi Shimodo, knows him better than anyone. A shared background of loosing their parents early in life has taught them to understand each other and allowed a longstanding friendship to form through college and medical school. He trusts Shimodo to find a way to help him, even if he’s not so sure what kind of help he needs. These three characters drive this story forward. Tom is the catalyst.

Rhianna Samuels

November 28, 2007

A sense of humor

Filed under: ER nurse, The writer — Administrator @ 5:05 am

I’m in that time right before my book comes out in e-print. I should be doing every thing to promote “Shaking off the Dust”, and in small ways I am. My day job is a nurse educator, and it doesn’t require PR. However, new authors need as much publicity as they can get.
 I want to believe that I wrote a novel so fast paced and interesting that it will find an audience based solely on the story. Perhaps, if I were being published by one of the massive publishing houses, who were spending many thousands of dollars to promote the book and have it placed at the check out in every Borders, Books-a-Million and Barnes and Nobles in the united states my chances of having a ground swell of readers would be better.


 My dream is that it is such a different take on life and death, as we know it,  that the reader will be drawn into the lives of these characters. I’d love to have a best seller–big surprise, huh?–  So I want to start introducing you to my novel. There are some excerpts at Samhain Publishing, here’s the link
 http://samhainpublishing.com/coming/shaking-off-the-dust

In the end, it’s all about the story, so let me tell you a little about my herione.

What I loved about writing this story was that although there are some very serious themes involved- a terrorist plane bombing for one—Hannah’s voice is full of self depreciating humor. She recovered from a near death car accident and is living with the after effects.  Although, it is the same old routine, her life works and she functions well in how she defines it. When she’s literally thrown to the ground by fate and begins her odd alliance with the dead neurosurgeon, Tom Mecurio and his best friend, Takeshi Shimodo, her life strays far from normal.  She just wants to get it done and return to her real life, that’s the nurse in her. Do your job and be quick about it because someone’s life my hang in the balance.


 Working in an ER is part of my professional life, I know first hand the kind of jaded wit that doctors and nurses use and the teasing  that keeps the weariness of life smacking you up side the head on a regular basis at bay. Some people think it’s black humor, but it’s not. It’s the one thing that can keep you sane. So you look for what is absurd and find a way to express that with an amusing twist. You are never more alive than when you are laughing.  She’s a cry baby at heart, the humor is a brave front. Although, I think she is genuinely funny. 

 Cover Art
Come on back soon.  Next blog is about Tom, the arrogant ghost.

November 18, 2007

Bull Headed Brother

Filed under: My Life, The writer — Administrator @ 7:10 pm

 The holidays are upon us, and I love holidays. I’m not in love with spending all the money that holidays now cost, but I love the excuse for parties, celebration and family to gather. If you check the blog at Samhain Publishing you can read how I go on about my family and our fun cut throat Scrabble competition. Aw, but that is another blog and so this one takes a different direction. 

The festive air is alive and excitement is a contagion. The Doc’s at my ER have the party scheduled for December 1st.  It gets earlier and earlier every year. I’m skipping the party this year, but I usually show up and keep my smart mouth running. My table companions enjoy, and I try not to say anything to telling.

My brother and his wife are coming in from New Orleans on Sunday and head back on Thursday morning. Rick is a gem and a veterinarian. During Katrina, Rick and several of his partners kept their small animal hospital open in Metairie, La with nearly three hundred animals. They had their own generator and were prepared. A day or so after, they checked another clinic and discovered hundreds of animals left unattended and brought them to their hospital.

After days of waiting, they watched army trucks drive in each morning full of equipment for road repair and leave empty. The next the day they made arrangements to have all their animals transported by the trucks on the way out to Baton Rouge and the university.  I have so much respect for him and the kind of thinking that took, to utilize what was available, contact the reserve and to do the right thing. He’s funny and warm and would do anything for anyone. You can tell him I said that.

Thing is he’s one of those male readers, who won’t read a book if it is from the female point of view. I am hoping he might read my book, but I doubt it. What it that with men? For decades my brother and I have swapped science fiction and fantasy books, so I know he likes the same kind of books I do. Heck, we love the same action and mystery movies, why do you suppose I would recommend a book that he’d hate. No, old bull head, just doesn’t feel it from the females’ POV. It would be amusing if it didn’t skew book buying for authors who write from the female perspective; because I know he is only the tip of the iceberg.

Aside from this flaw, he’s a wonderful person. I thank God each day for my family, even the bull headed ones.

Hope you all have a great holiday.

They’ve posted an excerpt up at Samhain Publishing for my book, “Shaking Off the Dust”

http://samhainpublishing.com/excerpt/shaking-off-the-dust

November 11, 2007

A thread in the tapestry of my life

Filed under: The writer — Administrator @ 7:35 pm

What a remarkable year I am having. (This is the part where I remark upon it for several paragraphs.) Years of ICU nursing and the last sixteen as an emergency room nurse have taught me how fragile our existence can be. I bear witness to the comedies and too often, the tragedies. That kind of constant bombardment of the worst possible outcomes can make your world view a bit jaded. *Color me uber skewed*.  So it was not a huge leap from my world to the world of Shaking off the Dust.
A half hour lunch discussion on who were the most boorish physicians, naturally led me to the idea of a book based on an ER nurse being haunted by an obnoxious neurosurgeon. (It was a close call between orthopedic surgeons and neurosurgeons. Yes, I do respect all physicians, but they are still human.)   With 9-11 and daily news reports on the next terrorist bombing the premise unfolded. By the time I started to write, the story was fully formed and poured out of my pen.  Hammering it out on the keyboard was not as much fun.
 Those twenty years away from my last English or writing class didn’t help the spelling or punctuation, but the story grew in the telling. At the time of it’s writing, I’d fallen in love with Takeshi Kenishiro, who I’d watched over and over in the Japanese megahit “The Returner” (a sci fi, time travel movie from 2001, the number one movie in Japan that year.) I was a couple years late in viewing, but once I seen it, I was hooked.  This guy is a huge Asian film star and as I wrote SOTD his picture sat upon my computer screen.
 Then late last year, I took a writing class with Ann Crispin and sent her two partials to look at as part of the class. She started reading the first of them and didn’t even bother to view the other. Lucky for me the one she read was SOTD. She liked it. And during our one on one critique she encouraged me to start sending it out.  At the same conference, I sat in on a panel of editors and Samhain Publishing was among them. I was impressed with their representative; she was warm, funny and encouraging.
So here is where life took a decidedly odd turn. I waited a couple of months to have a new critique partner review the manuscript before I submitted to the editor I met at Samhain.  Within a few days of finally sending it to her, I received a reply informing me that she had died the previous week. This was a tragedy and an eerie parallel to the theme that runs through my book.
“Shaking Off the Dust” is about opening ourselves to change. For the ghost Tom Mecurio, he clings to this plane of existence because he believes his purpose here is not fulfilled and because he is afraid. He pulls Hannah Campbell from the quiet routine she has fallen into since a car accident, allowing her to open up to adventure and romance. Professor Takeshi Shimodo, Tom’s best friend, has punished himself for years for breaking the rules in his youth and loosing everyone that he loved. His life since then has been quiet discipline and nearly emotionless, until Hannah comes laughing into his heart. These three main characters are rising from the ashes of their old lives, shaking off the dust and moving forward.
 The woman that I met on that editor’s panel was vibrant and witty, she was a fleeting link to a future I hoped to reach. As we submit our manuscripts to editors for consideration, you always hope to find a connection with the person on the other end. Though, from their perspective that may not be what they perceive as existing, an editor wants a story that is fresh and engaging. My day job prepared me for the constant transformation of the landscape. I could only imagine the impact of her death on her family and coworkers. I put aside my ambitions and told them I would resubmit at another time.
My manuscript was sent on to another editor though. After rewrites and a resubmit, I was offered the opportunity become part of their author list and I’ve been thrilled every day since then.
 As for my world view of how I reached publication? I have to say, it was a brief encounter with a woman who is now gone, whose life became a thread in the tapestry of my life.
Rhianna Samuels
Rhiannasamuels.com

October 12, 2007

Writing Sex

Filed under: The writer — Administrator @ 11:37 pm

You may laugh at this, but I write erotica to de-stress. A storyline is attached, but it is sex in its purest form, uncomplicated voyeuristic sex. I see my characters in excruciating detail find release. Writers have to see it in our head to get the words on paper.

When I write straight paranormal or erotica, the sex is not always anchored to a romance. It may be the nature of the character, a curse or a blessing, depending on their world view. I am a romantic at heart, so eventually it will lead to love, and hopefully romance. The two are not naturally intertwined. A character may love someone and sex is part of the relationship, but if it is one sided it is not a romance. Pleasure can be noncommittal, momentary and necessary for the majority; whereas, romance is a committed relationship. Friendship is a committed relationship. Sexual pleasure is the core of erotica. Some may believe that it must be kinky, but that is a matter of taste.

When I write in the romantic suspense genre I follow a parallel rule to life. The consummation of a romance to sexual intimacy leads to a lot more sex. In life, when you become intimate, do you wait months to see each other again? If you enjoyed the experience and want that person, the sex is frequent and lustful. For that very reason you will never see only one sex scene in my books. We are primitive in new relationships, loosing ourselves for hours and sometimes days in our lover’s pleasure. Or so my world view insists.

If you don’t agree, then I challenge you to ask someone who is in a brand new sexual relationship. How often do they see each other now that they have cleared the hurtle of sexual intimacy? Unless they are long distance lovers, they probably see each other several times a week and sex is integral to planning their time together. Why do you think there’s always a hidden parlor off the ballroom when you read historical romance? Sex allows a male and females to become one.

What is your world view on sex?

Rhianna Samuels
Rhiannasamuels.com

September 23, 2007

Edits and life changes.

Filed under: The writer — Administrator @ 9:16 pm

I missed my last blog because I was working on the first round of edits. (I discovered I really, really just love garbage words.)  I learned some lessons. The first of which is what a fragile hold I have on my delusions of adequacy, much less the insubstantial grip I have on my fantasy of rising above the ordinary.  That said, the pragmatic adventurer in my head, who parades around as a nurse, slid down a rocky ravine and skinned her ass.  Like all tough broads, shaking off the dust, she’s back on the journey chaffing, but determined.

I don’t know that it was any worse than most writers endure on the first book edits. I made rookie mistakes. The ironic part was that I took a vacation from the day job and spent a week at my leisure through Labor Day.  The following Tuesday, as I looked forward to a long week of work and a community disaster drill on the weekend, the first round arrived. For those who don’t know what I’m talking about, it’s when your editor completes the first twenty pages or so and then tells you to go through the rest of the book and find all the other similar problems. I learned early in life that if there is a frustrating way to do it, I have discovered the method.

So how did I respond to this portion of my journey to publication?  Now, don’t laugh too hard. I colored my hair chestnut brown from the pale blond it’s been the last fifteen years. I don’t hate it. It’s me, but different. That’s the way I feel about my life lately. I was set in my ways for a long time and the era of transformation is upon me.

Changing hair color is as simple as buying a box of Clairol.  It is a reflection of my emotions that are often nebulous and growing. If I were a teenager, I might have used blue or magenta. I am an adult and work a job that frowns on bright blue hair.  Having my book published isn’t the catalyst of this change, but a product of it. The writer wants a bigger piece of my life and that means getting past the same old, same old. I’m redesigning day to day, to fit in with that vision. 

To continue the theme over the last two weeks, I must agree that I love fall the best of all the seasons. It comes down to embracing changes, even when raking the leaves is a bitch.

 

I suspect that most of the readers of this blog are going through similar adaptation in their lives. Tell me about what you are experiencing. Share the secret of your transformation and how it is reflected in your life. I would love to learn how you became.

I have a new website design up and would appreciate feed back. 

Rhiannasamuels.com

Shaking Off The Dust coming early 2008

Journey to where laughter is bright  
And love is incandescent.

June 30, 2007

Today I did both of my jobs…

Filed under: ER nurse, My Life, The writer — Administrator @ 4:37 pm

Some days I love my job. Yes, I tell myself that everyday, just as a reminder. And if you think about it I have two jobs. One is the day job, the one everyone tells you not to give up until you have at least three best sellers. The other is the one where I write and wait impatiently to see it published.

 

Today, almost as soon as I reached my office, the night charge nurse came in smiling and content with life. He has several new nurses on his shift and was bragging about them. (The new nurses fall under my job description.) For half an hour and within just an hour of the day shift crowd being there, it all went to hell. He had four patients suddenly going critical at the same time.

 

One was crashing as his blood pressure tried to reach zero, one having an allergic reaction that tried very hard to close off his throat, one rushing to surgery. 

 

The fourth was a young girl, who when she entered the ED was complaining of abdominal pain and missed her period a month before. Trouble was when the nurse examined her she was as near to crowning as you can get without the head popping out. (You know the scene in Knocked Up.)

 

The doctor came and did a quick exam and sent three nurses up with her to reach L&D while the doc stayed with the other patients in the ED. They called to warn L&D(labor and delievery) and rushed to get her there in time. Trouble was there was not an obstetrician on the floor. He said he could hear the page over head. Three ER nurses and a couple of L&D nurses delivered this little girl.

 

He was feeling pretty good. Saved some lives and brought a new one into the world. He was smiling as he told me that he had so wanted to simple push aside the L&D nurse and deliver the baby himself. It was a tantalizing idea to be the first to hold her as she was born. The baby was early, but not that early. The other patients all made it without complications and all was right with his world.

 

I wasn’t with them while they showed the gold. After more than 15 years in the emergency room it was a thrill to see the nurses that I helped orient and encourage, gain the knowledge and skill to shine when it all seemed dark for a time.  

 

I know how he felt. We bear witness to tragedy so much of the time in the emergency room. We see the miscarriages, not the deliveries. We see the first golden hour of traumatic events when everything you do can make a difference, not the day they walk home. We hear the death wails of family members as they are allowed in the room to watch as we try to save their husband, wife, brother or father, not the sweet remembrances.

 

It requires a very special individual to do that job. We don’t have the hours or days of getting to know our patients, instead we a short window of time save the emergent patient or diagnose and treat the less emergent. We are the way station on their way home, the hospital room upstairs or to their maker. There’s always someone else waiting for us to get to them. So this nurse would go home today weary from life, with the knowledge he and five other nurses made a difference in the lives of everyone they cared for that night. Some days at the end of your shift that feeling is not there, because you feel only the weary. It was a good day for him and I was glad.

 

So today I did both my jobs. I bore witness to his story and then I wrote about it. In my life I don’t have to come up with outrageous tales, I can just tell you about my day or one of the many I remember.  When I write I always see the happy ending, even if it is not part of the real story. That’s why I write fiction.

 

Rhianna Samuels/story teller/ER nurse

June 23, 2007

The Secret O’ Life

Filed under: My Life, The writer — Administrator @ 4:51 am

 

I don’t know all the secrets of the great writers. But I know the secret of life. James Taylor sings about it in the song the Secret of Life. What is the secret but to enjoy the moment you’re in this instant.  


You are probably thinking, just as I have, “but I’m not really enjoying this minute in my dentists’ chair.” I do know that I have spent great pieces of my life dreaming of what the future will bring, instead of living in the now. The memories I recall are those times that I was fully engaged and enjoying, or not enjoying, but I was in the moment.


I know I’m not the only one who can get home and realize I don’t remember the drive there. I was zoned out. (What does that mean?) I wasn’t paying attention. I wasn’t there. I’d tell you if I remembered.


When I write it requires that I be fully engaged in the process, even if the moment is surreal, as if I am plugged into some other place. I remember writing SOTD in long hand. My sister had surgery and I was there with her for the several days she spent in the hospital. For two days straight she couldn’t stand the light in her room. So I sat in a chair next to her bed with only one tiny sliver of light. I maneuvered until it let me see what I was writing. The story was ready to fall out of my brain and through the pen. In the first four or five days I wrote the majority of that book. I can remember being confined, and yet completely attentive to the story. (And my sister)


And what of reading? Is it a false moment?  I have read books that will stay in my memories until I die. Novels with characters and stories so real that are told to us in words as opposed to events to which we bear witness. In reading a book are we neglecting life. Am I not engaged in my life because I am engaged in a world between two covers?


I don’t know the absolute answer to that, because it is a question for each individual. I was talking to a friend at work today, who was telling me about not being able to read anything until summer was over. She said it took her a long time to read a book, because she only had time while the laundry was in the dryer. It seemed so odd to me, because I can read a book in a few short or long hours, depending on the length. The idea of waiting weeks or even months to know the end of the story was a foreign thought for me, not if the ending id at the end of the pages I have in my hand.  


Is she totally engaged in her life and I am a poor pathetic creature who lives vicariously through words on a page?  Probably. I also enjoy many things in my life. I think I finally grew up when I could enjoy the silence and being alone without feeling like I needed someone else there to share the experience.  She is totally involved in the lives of her young children, she is engaged as a parent. I hope when her children are older, that she finds the time to enjoy a book, and the silence.


I like to take the time to savor the coffee, scent the rain filled air and feel the rug between my toes. And if I can have a good conversation with someone I love in the process then I am very happy and content. I enjoy reading and writing. I am in the moment, whatever I am doing in that particular moment.

Tell me being in your moments.


Rhianna


 
 
 
 
 

 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 

 
 
 
 
 

 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 

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